Technically people kill people, not guns. And technically smokers kill themselves, not cigarettes. But both guns and cigarettes are instruments of death.

News Flash: A new gun has entered the market. To date it has proved to be non lethal. Gun users who have switched to the new “E-Gun” claim it is a great alternative to their old Colt 45 and say it fills their gun needs but when used doesn’t kill anyone.

Opponents of the new E-gun are skeptical. They admit that after being on the market for over 6 years there have been no reported injuries from those shot with the new high tech gun, but have stated, “We just don’t know enough about it. More testing should be done before gun owners make the switch. We recommend everyone continue to shoot at people with hot lead. If you don’t want to kill anyone, don’t buy a gun”.

One E-gun owner is convinced it is the way of the future. “I want a gun to protect my family, but I don’t want to kill anyone. The E-gun gives me the advantage of protection but eliminates the possibility I’m going to kill someone.”

Makers of current “non-lethal” weapons such as tasers and mase are not impressed. A spokesman for the American non-Lethal Association, which is funded by companies in the taser and mase business, stated “Ok, the E-gun hasn’t killed anyone and tasers are responsible for hundreds of deaths per year, but we already paid the government for the right to sell them. What are you going to do?”

If this scenario seems absurd to you, it should. Visit Save The Electronic Cigarette.

Disclaimer: There is no such thing as an E-Gun. The above article is intended to display the absurdity of the arguments against the electronic cigarette. The comparison between guns and cigarettes and E-Guns and E-Cigarettes is for parody purposes. This article in no way intends to be a claim regarding the health or safety of the electronic cigarette.

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One Response to Guns and Cigarettes Kill People

  1. Ruchamah says:

    Exccellent parody! Thanks for writing this! I love the *non-lethal protection”. Terrific!

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